


Infinity Pines

by SonicCrazyGal



Category: Gravity Falls, Infinity Train (Cartoon)
Genre: Family Bonding, Family Feels, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:01:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27453898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonicCrazyGal/pseuds/SonicCrazyGal
Summary: When Mabel learned Dipper was going to be taking Ford's apprenticeship, she ran off to the woods in tears and ended boarding a mysterious train that had appeared. The rest of her family soon followed when they realized she was missing. Will the Pines be able to find each other and work out their problems? Or will they be trapped on the train forever?(Crossposted on Fanficton.net)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 34





	1. All Aboard

"I don't want it to work!" Mabel said, barely keeping herself from sobbing as tears gathered in her eyes. "I just wish summer could last forever!"

"But it can't, Mabel," Dipper sighed, kneeling down by his upset sister and placing a hand on her shoulder. "Look, things aren't going to stay frozen this way. It's part of growing up. Things change. Summer ends."

Mabel let out a choked sob and bolted out of the attic. Dipper yelped as he fell over from the sudden lack of support and called out to Mabel. But Mabel didn't listen and didn't stop, fleeing the Mystery Shack and into the woods. She kept running until she couldn't anymore and curled up against a tree to keep sobbing.

"Only party chocolate can help cheer me up now," Mabel sniffed, pulling out a bar. She nibbled on it sadly, less comforted by the sugary treat than she was hoping. "I just wish summer could last forever."

Mabel sniffed and began pulling the collar of the sweater up over her head, seeking the comfort of Sweater Town, when a bright flash of light made her pause. As she started to look around for its source, a huge train suddenly appeared, moving just a few feet in front of her at high speeds. She gasped in surprise, pressing her back against the tree as the wind from the train blew her hair and clothes around. The train came to a stop and letters began appearing on the destination panel, reading "Endless Summer."

Now a normal person would probably freak out by a random train appearing, but Mabel had been spending her summer in Gravity Falls. She and Dipper had had so many adventures involving magic, mysteries, and monsters. A train showing up and apparently offering to grant her wish seemed perfectly normal for this place. A small part of her (one that she refused to admit sounding like Dipper) said she be careful and that it could be dangerous. But Mabel was still upset and scared about what tomorrow could bring, she couldn't pass up this chance. She didn't hesitate to walk to the train and climb aboard.

Mabel blacked out as soon as she stepped on and the doors snapped shut behind her. The train whisked away, leaving no trace except for a forgotten backpack lying amongst the trees.

***

Dipper sighed sadly as he rode the elevator down to Ford's lab, unable to get Mabel's heartbroken face out of his head. He longed to go after her, to comfort her and let her know it would be alright. She was scared, but Dipper could help her see that there wasn't anything to fear. But he couldn't go yet, not when the risk of the rift breaking and the threat of Bill was still looming so close. The safety of the world had to come before helping his upset twin right? Dipper tried to convince himself he was making the right decision, but his heart just didn't seem to agree.

The elevator doors opening snapped Dipper out of his spiraling thoughts and he stepped into the lab.

"Let me guess," Ford said, glancing over his shoulder at Dipper. "Mabel didn't take it well."

"I don't know," Dipper began, fidgeting nervously with his backpack. "Maybe I'm making the wrong decision. I need to think about this…"

"Dipper, right now we need to focus on the mission," Ford said calmly, knowing there would be plenty of time to work out the details for Dipper to become his apprentice. "Now come on, I've got the glue; hand we the rift and let's make history."

Dipper nodded and reached into his backpack, pulling out the rift. He handed it to Ford who put it in a larger containment unit, making sure it was shut tight. He then stuck his hands into the gloves and with a syringe of the glue held ready, Ford carefully tapped the glass dome of the rift. It only took a few strikes for the glass to shatter and the rift began to expand. At that same moment, Ford inserted the needle and began to inject the glue.

Both Dipper and Ford watched for a few heart-stopping moments as it seemed like nothing was happening until slowly the rift began to shrink. They both let out a sigh of relief as Ford carefully and precisely covered the rift in glue. Dipper watched for what could have been minutes or hours as drop by drop the rift was sealed. With one last bit of glue, the rift vanished from existence without any fanfare, appearing to never have existed at all.

"We did it," Ford said, leaning back in his chair with a satisfied smile. "The world is sa-"

"YOU TWO ARE GOING TO COME WITH ME RIGHT NOW!"

Stan's furious shout caused both Dipper and Ford to jump in surprise, the two of them turned to watch Stan storm into the room.

"Stan! You can't just barge in here like that!" Ford shouted, both his body and temper rising to meet Stan. "We were dealing with a delicate procedure and you're lucky we'd just finished! Otherwise, you're carelessness could've ca-"

"I don't care what nerdy project I interrupted," Stan cut in, jabbing his-finger into Ford's chest. "I could have prevented forever being able to cure cancer or solve world peace and I still wouldn't give a s# &. You son of a &$%*(&."

Both Dipper's and Ford's jaws dropped at Stan's cursing. He had always been so careful not to swear in front of the twins that for him to lose his cool like this meant something was terribly wrong.

"What's going on Grunkle Stan?" Dipper asked, fearful of both Stan's anger and what could be making him so mad.

Stan's gaze softened as he looked at Dipper, revealing both worry and fear under all that anger as he said, "Mabel's missing. It's getting really dark out and I can't find her. You two are going to help me find her."

Dipper's face became white with fear and he immediately scrambled towards the elevator, Stan following right behind him. Ford stood frozen for a moment before a venomous glare sent him stumbling forward. The elevator ride up was painfully silent as the occupants' waited in various tense emotions. Mercifully they arrived and as soon as they were entering the gift shop, Stan was shoving flashlights into everyone's hands.

"I've already called Wendy and Soos," Stan informed as he turned on his flashlight. "They're going to check around town and get more help. We're going to start looking around the woods for her."

Dipper and Ford didn't argue and soon the three of them were searching the trees, calling for Mabel.

"Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Ford!" Dipper's panicked voice came echoing through the trees a while after they began searching. "I found something!"

The older twins hurried to where Dipper was and found him clutching Mabel's backpack but trace of the girl herself.

"I-It's hers... B-but I can't figure out where she went…" Dipper said, tears beginning to stream down his face. "W-what if something took her-r? W-what if she's hurt? This is all my fault!"

Ford began to move to comfort his upset nephew, but Stan beat him to it. Stan scoped up Dipper in a hug and gently patted the boy's back as Dipper cried into Stan's shoulder, leaving Ford to stand by awkwardly.

"Hey, it's okay… We'll find her…" Stan said softly and with so much confidence that Dipper's panic began to ebb. "If the summer has shown us anything it's that you two are fighters. Wherever she is, she'll be fine and we won't give up until we get her back. No matter what."

Dipper nodded, wiping away his tears and being filled with renewed determination. Just as the two were about to stand up to continue the search, a bright flash filled the area, followed by a train suddenly rushing by. The three of them jumped back in surprise as the train came to a stop and the destination panel flashing "Mabel Pines".

"What the?" Stan couldn't help but mutter, eyeing the train suspiciously.

"Grunkle Ford? Do you know what this is?" Dipper asked, glancing to see if Ford had any idea what was happening.

"Not around Gravity Falls," Ford replied, looking over the train in disbelief. "During my travels, I heard of a train that would appear to people in distress. Some never returned but those that did said that the train was benevolent…"

"Then let's go…" Stan concluded, stepping towards the train only for Ford to grab on his arm.

"We need to think this through first!" Ford insisted. "We're not even sure if Mabel's on it. It could be dangerous and…"

"Don't care, Poindexter," Stan cut in, ripping his arm from Ford's grip. "If this thing can take me to Mabel then I'm going. You can stay here for all I care, but I'm not going to leave family behind. You coming Dipper?"

The boy looked torn, glancing nervously between his two great uncles. He looked at the backpack in his hand and over at the train, his stance and gaze becoming determined.

"I'm coming with you Grunkle Stan," Dipper replied, getting an approving nod from Stan. The two stepped towards the train, Ford following a moment later though a lot more reluctantly. The three of them boarded the train and blacked, the woods becoming quiet as the train once more vanished.


	2. Stan's Start

_“Welcome aboard new passenger! I’m your conductor One **One**!”_

The first thing that Stan was aware of as he stirred into consciousness, besides the weird voice talking to him, was how bright it was. Hadn’t it been night a second ago? He blinked, trying to adjust to the light and focused on what seemed to be a TV screen in front of him, displaying an image of some kind of white ball? What was going on?

_“Once you wipe those groggy little peepers, you’ll probably have lots of questions. Like… Where am I? Why am I here?”_

“More like where’s everybody else?” Stan muttered, sitting up and looking around as his memories returned to him. He had bordered the weird train with his family and was now waking up in a weird… pod? And a quick glance around didn’t show any pods nearby with Dipper or Ford in them.

_“Are snacks provided? For those of you talking to me like I’m there in real life, I’m not! **I’m a cold, steely, prerecorded video.** ”_

Stan couldn’t help but chuckle a little at that. The ball may be weird, but at least it had a sense of humor that he could appreciate.

_“And this is a train where you sort out your problems. How about that number on your hand, huh? Pretty cool and green?”_

Stan blinked at that and looked down at his hand and sure enough, there was a number glowing green.

**1673**

Stan frowned and tried to rub it away with his other hand, but there was no effect. 

_“Every passenger has one. The numbers are made by the train based on your life in order to help you to have the most personalized experience we can offer.”_

Stan frowned at that. He didn’t like the idea of some weird train digging into his past. How would even do that? Probably some kind of magic thing. Stupid magic… he didn’t even know it was something that could cause him problems until he came to Gravity Falls all those years ago.

_“If you want to go home, get your number down to zero. And poof! Away you go! **I’m a zero…** ”_

Stan glanced at the number in his palm before clenching his hand into a fist. Going home didn’t matter right now, finding his family did. He’d worry about the number thing after he was reunited with the twins.

_“But always remember there are lots of denizens along the way to help you on your journey. Don’t be afraid to reach out. **Unless the denizen is one of those monsters with more teeth than body.** ”_

Stan felt his heart skip a beat at that. There were monsters on the train? Granted the kids had handled their fair share of monsters at this point, but that doesn’t make Stan worry any less. The twins had a terrible knack for finding trouble, the current situation an excellent example, and Stan’s had to serve them more than once. This just made finding the kids even more important.

_“Remember that you can’t spell “escape” without “companionship”… Uh… companion-shape? Companion-scape? **By watching this recording, you agreed to release the train of all liabilities…** ”_

While Stan could respect a lengthy disclaimer, it was clear that he wouldn’t be getting any more useful information out of the video and it was time to start his search. Climbing out of the pod, Stan really looked around the place he found himself in. He appeared to be in a large field of sunflowers with a dirt path only a few steps from where his pod sat. Stan decided to hurry along the path. 

Luckily, it wasn’t very long before he came to a red door just standing in the middle of the path. Stan eyed it suspiciously, walking a full circle around it before going up to it. He tapped it experimentally and with nothing weird happened, he grabbed onto the weird golden symbol in its center. The symbol turned easily and once it had been flipped around, there was a clicking sound and the door opened, showing what appeared to be a bridge to the next train car.

Instead of walking toward to the next car right away, Stan walked around to the side a bit and looked across the side of the train. There were a numberless amount of cars ahead of him, curving over far from him and beyond his eyesight. Looking behind him, he saw the same thing. For a moment, he felt his heart drop. How was he going to find his family in all this? It’d be impossible to search every one of them.

Stan angrily shook those thoughts away. He was Stan Pines! He didn’t know the meaning of impossible. He spent thirty years working on a sci-fi portal built without the help of a demon to save his brother, having only a third of the instructions and not even a high school diploma. Anyone else in that position would have said it was impossible and given up, but he succeeded! After that, he wasn’t going to let some train beat him. He’d either find his family himself or find that little ball and punt it around until it showed him where his family was.

Filled with renewed determination, Stan went to the car and opened the door. The sudden noise of a crowd cheering and bright lighting, caused Stan to pause as he took in the car’s contents. It seemed to be a large stadium, filled to the brim with green-skinned humanoid fans. In the center was a boxing ring and a really big and buff green humanoid standing in one corner, boxing gloves on his hands and a big shiny belt around his waist.

“A new challenger has appeared,” an announcer said as a spotlight appeared over Stan’s head. “Will he be able to beat the reigning Champion: the Green Giant?” 

Stan grinned and cracked his knuckles. A boxing match… now that was something he could handle.

Stan grinned as he adjusted the belt around his waist, the crowd's cheers and chants of his name cutting off as the car’s door shut behind him. A little battered but feeling confident, Stan went to the next car.

Stan steadily worked his way through the train cars, keeping an eye out for the twins as he went. Some cars were easy to get through, like the rug car and pumpkin car, while others had puzzles to solve and others even dangerous. (If Stan ever got his hands on that little ball he’d punt it as hard as he could for creating something like the lava mole.) But despite all the cars he went through, he still hadn’t found any sign of the twins and he was starting to get frustrated. He hoped he’d find them soon.

He had just entered the next car, one that seemed to have a deep canyon with floating and moving rocks to help cross it much to his dismay, when he heard a very familiar scream.

“I’d know that high pitched girly scream anywhere,” Stan muttered before he took off running further into the car. “DIPPER!”


	3. Dipper's Departure

_"Welcome aboard new passenger!..."_

Dipper blinked awake at the noise, before jolting into alertness when he realized he didn't recognize the voice. It only took a moment to realize that the voice was coming from the screen hanging in front of him. He glances around, only half paying attention to the talking ball, and felt his heart rate pick up when he realized he was alone in this new place.

_"… this is a train where you sort out your problems. How about that number on your hand, huh? Pretty cool and green?"_

Dipper focused a little more on the screen as it said that then looking down at the back of his hand. His curiosity spiked a bit when noticed there did seem to be a green glow coming from the other side and flipped his hand over to see the number.

**217**

Dipper stared at the number as he listened carefully to the video's explanation. He hoped it wouldn't be too hard to get the number down, but that wasn't the most important thing, finding Mabel was. He had to find her, make sure she was safe, and apologize for even thinking about taking Ford's apprenticeship. He had promised not to get stupid and he had gone and done just that. It would be hard to say no to Ford (he was the freakin Author of the Journals and had been on all these cool space adventures), but he would if it was what it took to repair his relationship with Mabel.

When the video ended, Dipper finally got out of the pod he woke up in and looked around the environment he'd found himself in. It seemed like this train car was a forest, similar to the one in Gravity Falls, and Dipper couldn't help but relax a little at seeing it. Sure, the woods could be dangerous, but they were also full of wonder and mystery. Maybe this train would be the same.

Dipper squared his shoulders and began making his way through the cars, solving puzzles and running from dangers whenever necessary. He hadn't seen any of his family, but Dipper refused to give up. He was currently jumping on floating rocks to cross a big canyon. The one he had just landed on was floating higher than he thought it would, so he hurried to run to the next. Unfortunately in his haste to get to the next rock, he underestimated how far he needed to jump. Dipper reached out to try and grab the rock, but his fingers barely brushed it.

A scream tore from his throat as he began to fall, terrified of the hard landing that was waiting for him at the bottom of the cliff. With the wind rushing in his ears, Dipper didn't hear someone shouting his name. He barely had time to register a hand entering his line of sight before it grabbed onto him. Dipper's fall suddenly shifted directions and he slammed into the side of a rock, knocking the wind out of him. Glancing up as he gasped, Dipper felt immense relief to see Stan leaning over the side of the rock, gripping Dipper's hand in his own.

"Don't worry kid, I've got you," Stan grunted as he pulled Dipper up to the rock he was on. The two sat leaning against each other, both breathing heavily as their hearts pounded with the terror of what just happened.

"You know kid," Stan finally said once they had both started to calm down. "You and your sister have a really bad habit of falling from high places. You should work on that."

Dipper let out a choking noise, something that was a strange mix of a laugh and sob, before throwing his arms threw his arms around his Grunkle. Stan blinked for a moment before wrapping his arms around Dipper as well. The two sat there, both just relieved to have found each other and that they were both alright.

"I'm glad I found you, kid," Stan finally admitted as they both got to their feet. "I was getting worried. I don't suppose there's any chance you already found your sister?"

"Not yet," Dipper replied, guilt surging through him as he thought of how it was his fault Mabel was here in the first place. "I hope she's alright… I haven't seen any sign of Great Uncle Ford either…"

"Ford can take care of himself," Stan replied gruffly, waving off any concerns. "The nerd survived thirty years on the other side of the portal. No way he let some train do him in after all that. Come on, let's go find Mabel."

"Right," Dipper nodded, studying the rocks to figure out how to get across. Working together, Stan and Dipper easily got across the canyon. They began working through several cars, including one filled with multicolored bubbles that burst into glitter when touched, a car that was a giant sudoku puzzle, and one that was a tiny forest.

By the time they got out of the corn maze car, it was obvious they weren't going to find Mabel any time soon. Dipper tried to insist they push forward, denying the obvious signs he was getting tired, but Stan wasn't fooled. He made them settle down for the night in a train car that seemed dedicated to camping. There were lots of tents set up and available, just waiting for people to use them. There was even a cooler full of hot dogs and marshmallows and the two soon ate their fill, roosting things over a small campfire.

"So Dipper…" Stan said once they had eaten their fill and were relaxing on the campfire. "Back before we got on the train, you said it was your fault Mabel was missing… what did you mean by that?"

"Well…" Dipper said, looking at the ground and drawing in the dirt with the toe of his shoe. "I guess it all started when I was helping Great Uncle Ford in the alien spaceship…"

And Dipper spilled everything, from the rift and Ford's offer of apprenticeship to the fight with Mabel that caused her to run off. Stan, was quiet the whole time, though it took all his will power not to storm off and punch something. (Ford was supposed to stay away from the kids and he goes and not only drags Dipper into his mess but tried to tear the younger twins apart! He was definitely going to punch the smug nerd next time he saw him, Stan owed him one anyway for what happened when Ford came back through the portal.) But Dipper didn't need to see him angry and that was far more important.

"Kid… this isn't your fault," Stan replied, putting his arm over Dipper's shoulders. "You were excited by aliens and your dreams supposedly coming through and fighting is natural between twins, but you have to remember you are still just a kid. I know you want people to take you seriously, but that's no reason to try and go up so soon. You're not even 13 yet, there's plenty of time to figure out what you want to do when you grow up. Enjoy the time you have now."

"I know… I know…" Dipper mumbled. "But it can be so hard sometimes… especially when you only made fun of me and dismissed everything I was saying at first. I know now that you were just doing it to protect us and to help toughen me up, but…"

"Yeah…" Stan coughed awkwardly. "I probably could have done better about that… I know you kids can handle yourselves, but you shouldn't have to. You should have just been focusing on having a fun summer. You are smart, but that doesn't make you responsible for everything. Take your time to grow up, having fun with your twin. And when you are both growing up and the time for you two to go your separate ways… makes sure you've talked to her about it first. There's nothing wrong with wanting to follow your own path, but your sister deserves far more thought and care than just a sudden decision. Take it from my experience with mine and Ford's mistakes. Keeping decisions bottled up will only hurt in the long run. And no matter what, don't let a fight destroy the bond you two have."

"I won't," Dipper promised. "I'm going to apologize once I find her and go back home with her once the summer's over. You're right, there's plenty of time still to figure out what I want to do, but there's only so much time I have left of being a kid with Mabel. I don't want to miss it."

"And that's why I know you two will be fine," Stan smiled approvingly. "You're already so much better and smarter than we were at your age. I know I don't say this as much as I should, but I'm proud of you."

"Thanks, Grunkle Stan," Dipper hugged Stan again. "I love you…"

"…And… I… uh… I love you too…" Stan replied, a little awkward but full of sincerity. The two hugged for a moment more, before heading into their tents for the night.

**Stan - 1347**

**Dipper - 148**


	4. Dynamic Duo

There wasn't a sunrise in the camping car as it seemed to always be late dusk, so Stan and Dipper slept until they both felt well-rested. As they got up and prepared for the day, filling up some spare camping packs with supplies, Dipper finally noticed that his number had decreased.

"Hey, Grunkle Stan! Look!" Dipper said, holding out his hand to show off the number. "My number went down!"

"How about that…" Stan replied before looking at his own hand. "Mine did too. I wonder what caused it…"

"I think it must have been our talk last night," Dipper replied, writing his thoughts down as he spoke. "The conductor did say that this place was supposed to help with our problems and I guess talking helped."

"So the only way to get home is to be all touchy-feely? Great…" Stan groaned, rubbing a hand over his face. "I've never been good at expressing my real feelings, especially since doing so only got me in trouble…"

"Guess this means you'll have to be honest how much you love Mabel and I," Dipper replied with a grin.

"Never gonna happen, kid," Stan said, waving his hand dismissively. "In fact, it's best if you pretend last night never happened."

**Stan - 1402**

Both Stan and Dipper stared at Stan's hand for a moment, having seen it go open before Dipper laughed and Stan did his best not to curse.

"You've got to be kidding me…" Stan grumbled before heaving a big sigh. "Fine! Fine! I care about you kid! I meant it when I said I loved you! You kids are the best thing that ever happened to me!"

**Stan - 1329**

"I care about you to Grunkle Stan," Dipper replied as his snickers subsided. "And I guess you really mean it."

"I'll deny it if you ever repeat it to anyone else, but yeah," Stan teased, pulling Dipper in for a noogie. "I've been head over heels for you two ever since I got to hold you in my arms when you were born. You and your sister may cause a lot of headaches, but I would not trade this summer for anything."

"Me neither," Dipper agreed, escaping from Stan's hold. "We better find Mabel so you can tell her how much you love us too."

"If I must…" Stan complained good naturally, slinging on his pack. The two-headed onto the next train car. They passed through several cars, working together to get through them very easily. They were currently taking a hot air balloon across to the next door, though it would still be a while before they'd get there at the leisurely pace the balloon was moving. The two were just watching the clouds go by and enjoying the peaceful ride.

"I hope Great Uncle Ford isn't too mad that I'm going to turn down his apprenticeship," Dipper eventually said. "He was so excited when I accepted…"

"He'll get over it," Stan replied shortly, before giving Dipper a smirk. "And if he gives you any trouble, just remind him that he'd have to explain everything to your parents."

"Yeah…" Dipper grimaced. Dipper loved this summer and all the adventures he'd been on, but there's no way anyone would believe him if they'd tried to explain everything. Dipper isn't even sure he'd believe it himself if he hadn't lived through all it. Sure Mabel had been sending their parents letters, but it was obvious to Dipper last time they called that his parents thought Mabel was letting her imagination exaggerate things. How in the world did Dipper think his parents would just let him stay with a strange uncle that they'd never met?

"See it'll be fine," Stan assured, nudging Dipper out of his thoughts. "Sure he might sulk for a bit, but Ford won't stop you from leaving with Mabel."

"Okay…" Dipper said, feeling a bit better before something occurred to him. "Are you two going to be alright without us? I know you guys haven't exactly been… getting along…"

"That's putting it nicely," Stan snorted, refusing to think about just how broken his and Ford's relationship was. "But we'll be fine kid. We're both adults and we'll be able to work things out. You don't need to worry."

Stan gave Dipper a confident grin and Dipper returned it with a small smile of his own. The ballon arrived at the door by this point, so Dipper dropped the subject so they could focus on the next car. Stan was glad Dipper hadn't pushed the subject, he wasn't sure he'd be able to keep lying for long. He couldn't let the kid know that he was being kicked out of the shack by Ford. Come to think of it, they might not even be able to get off this train. If they can only leave by talking things out… well… it could take a very long time…

They passed through several more cars, including one full of ducks and a corn maze. After stopping for lunch in the Luau car, they soon came to a new car that seemed to be a stand-up comedy car. The car was dim with lots of tables and chairs spaced evenly across the floor and a bright light shining on a stage. There was an audience full of humanoid creatures whose entire heads seemed to be giant mouths. Stan and Dipper couldn't see who was on stage from where they were, but they seemed to be doing terribly. The whole audience was booing and grumbling.

"I have a feeling Ford's up there," Stan shook his head in bemusement. "Figures he'd be stuck in a car like this."

"Wait you really think Ford's up there?" Dipper asked, trying to peer through the crowd to get a look at his Great Uncle. "What should we do?"

"Just stay here and I'll take care of this," Stan replied, straightening his tie and putting on a big showman's grin. "After all if anyone can handle a crowd like this it's Mr. Mystery."


	5. Ford's First Steps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas Everyone!

_"Welcome aboard new passenger!..."_

Ford felt groggy, which immediately sent his mind to a worried analysis of his body and surroundings. He felt like he'd been drugged recently (something he'd, unfortunately, become familiar with during his travels) and the scent of hay and animals meant he was no longer in the forest of Gravity Falls. Keeping his eyes closed, Ford listened to the voice speaking, trying to discern their position and if they're a threat.

Once it was revealed to be a video, Ford opened his eyes and looked around. His first observation was that he was in a pod of some sort. Keeping an ear on the video, he examined the pod and couldn't help but be fascinated by it. It was some of the most advanced technology Ford had come across and it also seemed to blend smoothly with magic…

_"Every passenger has one. The numbers are made by the train based on your life in order to help you to have the most personalized experience we can offer."_

Ford's head snapped up to the video before going down to his hand.

**2731**

How did the train get that number… The metal plate was supposed to prevent anything from messing with his head… If the train could get at his mind and memories… then could Bill…

Ford closed his eyes and forced himself to take a deep breath. He had learned the hard way that panicking never helped. He needed to stay calm and focused up he hoped to figure his way out of his situation.

Once he felt more under control, he thought over what he knew about Bill and the plate in his head. The plate didn't make his mind impenetrable to mental magics and powers, as Bill himself could still haunt his dreams. But it did keep the majority of his thoughts hidden, especially those he wanted to protect. The train had advanced technology and magic, something Ford himself observed when examining his pod, so it is possible that it just used similar techniques to skim his surface thoughts and memories to calculate the number.

Satisfied with his conclusion, Ford listens to the video for any helpful information and getting up once he determined he got all the use out of it he could. Carefully treading into the surrounding area. He seemed to be on a farm with tiny little humorist creatures with carrot heads inhabiting it. They seemed friendly, a few waving at him as they spotted him. A part of Ford was itching to observe them and write in his journal, but he shouldn't linger. The conductor clearly indicated that there were dangers to be found and his priority should be finding the kids then…

"Howdy passenger!" A carrot farmer greeted cheerfully, tipping his straw hat as he approached Ford.

"…Greetings…" Ford replied, forcing himself not to reach for his blaster. It was rarely a good idea to act hostile until the aggressiveness of other creatures could be determined. Besides he might be able to get information about the train from the creature. "You wouldn't happen to know where the door to the next car is would you?"

"Oh sure," the carrot farmer said cheerfully. "It's right by the barn! But before you leave, you must join us for dinner!"

"I shouldn't…" Ford began but thought better of it. While he did need to find the kids as soon as possible, he didn't know where they were or how long it would take to find them. He also didn't know when his next opportunity to eat might be and he couldn't afford to waste it. "Alright."

"Wonderful!" the carrots farmer said, grabbing Ford's hand and leading him forward. "May is making her famous jambalaya and you don't want to miss it!"

Ford let him be led into the farmhouse and couldn't help but ask questions about their lifestyle. They were very friendly and had no problem sharing all sorts of stories as the meal was prepared and served. After the food was eaten and the dishes washed, Ford was invited to join the dancing that was about to happen in the barn. Ford declined, insisting he really needed to get going to the next car. They had no problem leading him to the door and waving goodbye as he went through.

Ford was able to maintain focus on his goal for the first few cars, barely giving their contents more than a passing glance as he made his way through. A few had puzzles that need to be solved in order to open the door, but they were simple for Ford to solve and continue on. But with each car he passed through, Ford couldn't help but slow down and observe the cars and those that lived within them.

Did the train create all these creatures in the cars or did some of them migrate to it? If the train really brings so many strange and varied creatures into existence, what could possibly be the train's limits? Was each that contained sentient creatures their own stable life cycle? With creatures being born and dying? Did the civilizations grow and expand with time or were they stagnant within set bounds the train made? Was there trade and travel between cars?

The more he thought about these things, the longer and longer he lingered in each car, observing and questioning everyone he could. His journal was quickly filling up with notes and entries and before he realized it, he had been on the train for over a day with very little progress actually being made.

He tried to refocus and make up for lost time, but would still find himself getting distracted. He finally came into a stand-up comedy car much to his annoyance and found he would not be let out until he got the audience to fill up the laugh meter by the stage. He'd tried everything to force the door open, but not even his blaster so much as scratch the pristine door.

Finally, with great reluctance, Ford went up onto the stage and grabbed the microphone.

"G-good evening everyone," Ford said, clearing his throat a little to try and sound better. Why in the world was he stuck in a comedy car? Why couldn't it have been a physical classroom where he could give a lecture. He had never been good with large crowds like this and instinctively hid his free hand behind his back to hide his fingers.

It was going about as well as one would guess, Ford's attempts at doing some intellectual jokes flying over the audience's head and the crowd booing at him as a result. He tried to think up some simpler jokes and puns, but they either fell flat or he couldn't remember the punchline. Needless to say, it was a disaster.

"Why don't I take it from here," A familiar voice came from behind Ford as Stan took the microphone from Ford. While Ford was still frustrated with his brother, he couldn't help but feel relief at this moment. Stan had always been a lot better with crowds and getting people to laugh. He'd be able to get the door open and Ford would finally be out of this stupid car.

"Geez Sixer looks like you've nearly killed the crowd," Stan said with a grin, sling an arm over Ford's shoulder. "What did you do to them? No… let me guess… you told a chemistry joke, only for it to get no reaction?"

Ford's face started to burn as the audience laughed, feeling some of his defenses come up.

"Actually I was trying to tell a very tasteful joke about dark matter…" Ford began only to have Stan cut him off.

"Dark matter? More like Dork Matter! Am I right?"

Ford felt angry and humiliated as the audience laughed loudly again and Ford ducked under Stan's arm and hurried off the stage as fast as he could without looking like he was fleeing. Stan easily reclaimed the audience's full attention and Ford was able to disappear into the crowd where he found Dipper sitting at one of the back tables.

"That was embarrassing," Ford grumbled, sliding into a seat neat to Dipper. "But at least Stanley will make us possible to progress, even with those atrocious jokes of his."

"Yeah they're pretty terrible," Dipper agreed, snicking at the latest one Stan said. "But Stan has a way of making them funny."

"He always did have a talent for performing for crowds," Ford admitted, glad he was no longer on stage.

"You should see him giving tours at the Mystery Shack," Dipper said, missing they Ford tensed. "Even with a room full of obviously fake stuff, he's still able to entertain them enough that throwing money at him, literally sometimes."

Ford had to clench his jaw to keep from ranting about what an insult the "Mystery Shack" was to his work. Dipper probably wouldn't like him being angry with Stan, especially with what was currently going with him and his sister. Forcing himself to relax, Ford let himself be an outside observer of Stan's performance.

Stan somehow managed to take the audience that had been so against Ford to be paddy in his hands. Laughter could be heard pretty much after every joke and they seemed to hang onto every word when Stan told a story. Ford had to admit it if only to himself, that Stan really had a talent for this kind of thing. It didn't surprise Ford that Stan had been able to run a tourist trap for all these years and Stan always had a knack for weaving fun stories out of thin air.

Stan's storytelling had kept him entertained for hours when they were kids, with themselves featured as the main heroes. Once they found the Stan O' War, the stories featured all the adventures they'd have when they sail away. It hurt for Ford to think of those times, especially knowing how it ended, but he was surprised to feel a fondness for those memories as well, especially as he continued to listen to Stan perform now. He could just imagine how great Stan would be at giving his tours…

**Ford - 2692**

"My ex-wife still misses me… but her aim is getting better!" Stan smiled as the audience cheered. "Still though… I will always remember her as the one that got away… I still don't know how she escaped all those traps I set…"

The room erupted into loud laughter, finally filling the meter. Stan bowed and waved as he walked off the stage as the audience clapped.

"And that's how it's done," Stan grinned, flipping the door open. "Let's blow this joint. All we need to do now is get your sister."

"And then we'll all be able to go home!"Dipper cheered as he walked with Stan. Ford didn't think it'd be that easy, but they're at least seemed to be taking steps in the right direction. For now, they'll focus on getting to Mabel, by then Ford should have a plan to get them all out of here by then.


End file.
